Happy Thanksgiving: Everything is Terrible!

thumbsdownIf you’re like me, you woke up this morning wondering just what in the heck there was to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Well, I’ll answer that for you: not much! The world is changing every day for the worse, and it’s all we can do to get out of bed and drag ourselves to the proverbial turkey trough (or tofu trough, you veg heads!) . Here are a list of things I am NOT thankful for this year.

  1. The price of the no blackout days Disneyland Annual Pass is through the roof! I’ve never bought one before, but if I ever decide to, I know it’ll cost me an arm and a leg. No thank you!
  2. It seems like Trader Joes stores keep getting bigger, but the parking lots keep getting smaller! Maybe split the difference, dingbats! No thank you!
  3. The AMC iPhone app has a heck of a time streaming The Walking Dead to my AppleTV. I have to keep closing it out and starting the episode over and scrobbling to where I left off. Now one forty-two minute episode takes me over FIFTY minutes to watch! I’ve got stuff to do! FIX IT! No thank you!
  4. Red cups at Starbucks? Too bright for my eyes! No thank you!
  5. Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the black box? No thank you!
  6. My iPhone can do just about everything but cook my breakfast. BUT WHAT IF THAT’S WHAT I BOUGHT IT FOR? No thank you!
  7. It’s 2015 and the street dog vendors STILL don’t take credit cards? No thank you!
  8. It’s 2015 and the fruit in a bag vendors STILL don’t take credit cards? No thank you!
  9. Everyone’s giving me a hard time for taking hour long showers while you’re all stuffing your face with fists full of almonds and beef bits at every football game? No thank you!
  10. Charter internet? More like Farter internet! No bueno, and no thank you!



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